But, I just want to buy a dress?

It's Graham's Christmas party tonight (they do it in January every year, which I appreciate as December is really busy) and I needed/wanted a new dress so we hit the mall last night and after a couple of haircuts for Graham and Charlie we wandered into stores. There are some big sales on, but it is an in-between seasonal thing so the clothes and the sizes are cheap but also limited.


The first store I walked into had giant posters made to look like tags that said "70% off all stock!" Pretty straight forward, I thought. After the third salesperson walked by and asked me if I knew what their sale was I walked out of the store feeling harassed and badgered. The next store was more of the same, with two sales people (associates?) chirping "Hi!" at me, and one immediately coming right over and asking me if I was looking for anything special today. I said no, just browsing and she asked me if I knew what the sale promotion was. I read from the sign directly above me, "up to 60% off select merchandise, excluding newer stock?" and she replied, "Yes, so it's up to 60% off select stock but not including our newer merchandise near the front." No shit.


The third store was the same. "Have you been helped?" "Have you heard about our sale today?" "Are you looking for anything in particular today?" "Just in case you haven't heard, we're having a sale today which doesn't include the dress you're holding, but does include those shorts that no one wanted in the back, available in lime with red handprints and red with lime handprints. No? Not interested? Would you like to try them on? No? Ok, maybe next time?"


Charlie was in a stroller and quite happy to roll around looking at things, so the fourth store I felt confidant that she could manage sitting patiently while I tried on a dress. Except in this store I couldn't even locate a sales person to open a changing room for me, and when I finally did she huffily walked over, opened their smallest room and said, "There you go," and walked away. A stroller wouldn't fit in that room, I barely fit in that room. There was a room next to it with stroller capacity, but I couldn't find her again to help.


Feeling quite discombobulated by the overbearing attention/lavish ignoring I had just received I finally found another store with a wrap dress I quite liked. There was no aggressive salespeople nannering at me the second I got into the store and the music was quite nice - I like a store with good music. Charlie and I got a changing room to accommodate us both, the dress fit, finally a successful shopping excursion. Now came the part I hated - paying for the item.


It wasn't a pricey dress, at $38.00 it was a bargain. Parting with that money wasn't the hard part, it's the part where I can't pay for clothing without being asked to buy a membership, sign up for a free membership, get asked for my name and birthday and email for birthday promotions, get asked my postal code, get asked for my phone number, or any other ways the store feels I should be forever hassled for stupidly giving them money. Honestly, I just want to buy a fucking dress. I don't want email promotions, I don't buy that many clothes. I don't want a membership card that means absolutely nothing that I can't store up points on and can only use once a year for one article of clothing over $100.00. I just want to know the final price, pay using debit, and walk out.


I walked up to the front and put my dress on the counter. The sales person that helped me asked if I knew who helped me - always a good sign - and asked if it fit. I said no, just to see if she was paying attention, and she chirped, "Great. Would you like to sign up for our members rewards card? After your first year you receive 10% discounts every second time you come to our store." I shit you not, for $13 that was their *amazing* membership. Their store might not even be open in a year. I said I wasn't interested, and would just like to pay. She said, "Great. Can I have your name and email, please?" What? Come on, I just want to pay for the damned dress and leave! I said, "No, I just want to pay normally. No email, no name, no postal code...I just want to buy a dress and go home." She looked confused, like I was asking to wash the floor in exchange for the dress. I said, "I don't want to sign up for anything, I just want to pay." The line of people behind me was growing.


The girl looked at her computer, and looked at the associate next to her and said, "How do I put through a sale with no email address?" The associate said, "Doesn't her email address work?"


Girl: "No, she doesn't want to give her email address."


The associate (to me): "We won't give your email address out to anyone."


Me: "No, I understand that. I don't want to sign up for anything."


The associate: "Oh, you're not signing up. We just send emails about future sales."


Me: "Yes, but that's signing up for emails."


*line grows longer*


The associate: "But, it's free."


Me: "I understand. But, I don't want emails about your sale."


Girl and Associate twitch with confusion.


Me: "Can I just pay please?"


Girl: "How do I override this for payment with no email address?"


Associate: "Just run it through the debit machine, we'll have to fix it after."


And a woman behind me coughed in an irritated way. Finally my dress was put in a bag and I walked out with a line of customers staring at me for holding them up.


When did this become the norm? Why can't I just buy a goddamned article of clothing without looking like a conspiracy theorist trying to live off the grid?