Telefrancais! What am I going on about?

Canadian programming is something to be admired. From Kids In The Hall to You Can't Say That On Television (oh yeah, we're going old school) Canadians have managed to create some of the most hilarious, timeless, catch-phrase inducing (I'm pinching your face!) crap ever to float through a cable. We've also managed to create some cringe-worthy shows which always seemed to be inflicted upon our weakest and most vulnerable. Elementary school children.

I remember a fair amount of television being watched in elementary school. I don't know if it was growing up in a semi-secluded North Western Ontario town with a limited budget, or if it was a provincial school requirement enjoyed by all Canadian children rich or poor. Harriet's Magic Hats was a show that is purported to have given us a "diverse view of the working world". During the show a young girl would steal a hat from a trunk in her Aunt Harriet's attic and be suddenly whisked away to another place where she would follow a stranger (who seemed absolutely fine with a child just showing up out of thin air unaccompanied by an adult) about their workplace and learn of their profession. Harriet had quite the collection of hats, and also quite the collection of seemingly orphaned nieces as there were around 4 of them in the 52 15-minute episodes. This show seemed geared towards idiot workshy children who had no concept what chefs or plumbers do, hell-bent on giving them some sort of work ethic and direction in the world.

These shows were shown on 1980's style televisions and all of the lights needed to be turned off and the blinds closed in order for all of us to be able to see the screen properly without glare. Sometimes the equipment would fail midway through a show, and we'd all sit patiently watching the teacher smack the VCR and twiddle various buttons. Other times the movie would suddenly kick into fast-forward, and we'd sit and watch it speed through until the teacher (who had taken the opportunity to sneak away by herself/himself while we were transfixed to a screen in a darkened room) popped back in and noticed there was a problem.

In a last-ditch effort to get us enthused about learning French, we were subjected to a show called Telefrancais. I must admit, the creators knew children love television so much they'll even watch it in a language they do not understand. I wasn't thrilled about the show, partly because I couldn't understand it (my level of french at the time was nowhere near what the show required) and partly because it scared the holy hell out of me. In the show were several characters - two real-life children named Sophie and Jacques, a pineapple named Ananas that lived in a junkyard, and various other characters that came in depending on what that particular plot required. Alongside this, as if a scary french pineapple who lived in a junkyard (were they going for a lovable Oscar the Grouch rip-off?) wasn't enough, the show was interrupted by musical interludes provided by Les Squelettes which were supposed to be comical -

But were in actuality dancing skeletons.

Ananas:





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhKBp-jFdS8&feature=related

I can't tell what the low point of this show is - when the Pilotte throws the children out of the plane, or when the pineapple screams while being chased by a crow.

You decide.


Word of the day: Mephitic
Used in a Sentence: "Holy crap, what is that mephitic and nauseating odour?" gagged Jacques, getting out of bed and putting his underwear back on. "Ananas died last night, so we put him in the compost out back," replied Sophie, finishing the last of her rum mixed with pineapple juice.