Things that go bump in the night, and then eat my brains.

I'm terrified of the dark. Actually, I'm terrified of a lot of things. I had a very over-active imagination as a child. Basements horrified me, giving me recurring nightmares where I was stranded in a basement for no apparent reason, with a door behind me that was going to open at any second and reveal the creature behind it. I would scream for help, and the tiniest squeak would come out. My movements became futile, I moved as if underwater. Unable to scream, unable to move, and then the door would start to open...And in it was the guy from the Micheal Jackson video Thriller. He scared the living shit right out of me, the guy that does the talking at the end and then the maniacal laughing. I still hate that song.

Another nightmare was full of dinosaurs. Some were my allies, some wanted to eat me. My friendly dinosaurs were apathetic and useless, fat cartoony things that sat around eating pizza while I begged for their help, running around corners and hiding under tables trying to get away from the much slimmer and meaner carnivorous dinosaurs.

Fighting in dreams was also an exercise in futility, my arms turning into noodles and having the physical impact of a marshmallow. Once I had to beat a man to death in a dream with a vacuum cleaner, and it took me ages of lifting it and slightly dropping it on his face.

I'm not sure what it is about the dark that scares me so much, or even how it started. I remember eavesdropping on my mother one night talking with a friend about Stephen King's book IT, but not knowing it was an actual book - I thought it was a news story, and spent the rest of the night unable to go to the toilet thinking a clown was going to rip my arms off. I was in physical agony, but at least my arms were still on.

As an adult I still scare quite easily. I've given up on watching horror movies, but am naturally curious so still want to know what happens. The Ring took a good few years off of my life, I think, and it was after that movie I decided to stop watching them for curiosity's sake and just read the synopsis for each one on wikipedia. This way at least I know what happens without having to leave the lights on in the hallway at night for three months, or having a nervous breakdown one night when the bathroom floods without me realizing and I step in an inch of cold water on the floor. Graham learned the hard way, he thought it would be hilarious to show me a video about a Swedish car commercial where the person in a hideous mask jumps out at you at the end - he told me to lean forward really close and turn the sound up, and the resulting hysterical and sobbing/screaming woman who refused to go back into the computer room of the house was enough that he's never done anything like that since.

I wonder what age I'll be when I no longer run up basement steps, convinced something is chasing me? Or how many decades I have ahead of me checking behind the shower curtain every time I go to the washroom? Does it keep me young, or have my fears prematurely aged me? And what the HELL is that noise in the closet?!